The Jinx: Novice Starbucker, Inspirational sayings, and Mom Life

I'm going to attempt to resurrect this blog as a way of reaching out to my fellow humans in the hopes one of you, or some of you, can relate to what my colleague refers to as "The Jinx." Basically, if it can go wrong, it will in my life. Whether it's child or pet related, or something I do to myself, my life seems to be full of events that feel like complete hilarity after the fact. During, not so much.

Today started out relatively peaceful. The kids wanted Starbucks on the way to school, which is fine as long as we get out of the house by 6:45 at the latest, rather than our usual 7:00. My daughter has taken over making lunches for herself and her 11 yo bro, and this makes my husband less cranky in the mornings so awesome!

We hop in my relatively new (but aging by the day, as you'll soon see) Dodge Charger, rev up the engine, check the Waze app for the quickest route to school, and take off. I'm blasting Yelawolf, the daughter's headphones are treating her to her latest music obsession (which I'm not allowed to discuss) and my son is just chilling in the back, anxious to get dropped off at his best friend's house so they can chat about Fallout, Battlefield, or whatever video game they're planing right now before starting school at 8:25 (or 8:30, we can't quite agree on his start time). I'm hassling my daughter about the goofy shit she wrote on her bio homework (I love Google docs and the share function: "Where does the poo come from on the field?") and she's pissed off that I'm giving her correct answers for the Spanish 2 homework she's trying desperately to finish before school because even though she's not feeling well, she doesn't want to disappoint her favorite teacher.

I shoot emails to her teachers about her going to bed at 6:30 the night before (anxiety and today's teen will be another blog post soon. Grrr) and wait for her and her bro to get their coffee fix. As most of you know, I get my morning caffeine from the elixir of the gods, the joyous bubbling wonderfulness that is Diet Coke, and I loathe coffee, even the smell gives me that pinched look, you know the one I'm talking about. Music pumping, I'm feeling like we've got this today. All's good in the hood.

Back door opens.

"AHHHHHH!"

Apparently Starbucks has an issue with their lids popping off of their fru fru drinks like the Java Chip Frappucino, my son's favorite, and as he is a novice drinker, he was unprepared for said poppage as he climbed into the backseat. He jumped out, but not before the grande-sized gooey mess covered his entire lower half and the bottom quadrant of my fancy back seat.

Fuck. Ok. This is when mom has to control her urge to started screaming and just handle shit, you know what I'm saying?

I've started keeping a roll of paper towels in the trunk for such momentous occasions. I've had the car since March and have already had a vomiting incident and several spills. I just can't win, and like my mother in law always tells me, "I can't have anything!"

My son is near tears, standing frozen as the coffee seeps into his clothes and spreads because 11 year old boy messes frequently do. I tell him to chill, it's just a spill, we'll cruise over to Target, get him some new threads and he'll make it to class on time. BOOM. Handled. Right? No.

"Today was starting out so good and now it's all ruined."

My husband told me a story about his co-worker's wife who recently went to a mom's group at a church. They were asked to write their favorite inspirational quote on their coffee cup and she drew a picture of the Buddha, one of my heroes, and this line...

"Let Shit Go."

She's now a hero to my husband, and today, she's my hero. Because my son has a really hard time with this. I do, to a point, but honestly, it's fucking coffee. It's a fucking car. Life goes on and we can still have a good day, dude. This is what I told him. I had him smiling by the time I dropped him off, but I'm fully prepared to get a phone call today (again, the teen anxiety post is coming).

I had texted my boss and the parent I was supposed to meet with this morning to tell them what was happening and I rolled into work 32 minutes late. The parent laughed at my story, my boss shook her head because she's used to these tales, and my coworker just said, "it's The Jinx."

Jinx or no, I handled my meeting like a pro, regaled this dad with tales of how much ass his son was kicking so far as a new freshman in a new program (I teach independent study) and got my students all settled in. Sure, I was breathing a little hard, covered with sweat, and I didn't get to have my private toileting time (yet another blog post), but shit got handled, amIright?

I even remembered to bring my on-the-go makeup bag for school pictures today! See?

Oh and Happy Banned Books Week. Are you with the banned?